My but how quickly liberal political correctness is jettisoned when the sweet-talking wing of the fascist party doesn’t get its way! By which I mean to say, loses. LOSES! I cannot contain my glee but then I’ve never pretended to be anything but that which I am: a very vindictive, schadenfreude-driven self-ordained spokesperson for the proletariat. The kind which it may now be polite in liberal circles to call an effete bitchy little faggot. I’ll take it with a pirouette.
You may have heard the most recent Trump-era outrages — NODAPL protesters doused with water in frigid temperatures despite, well, Obama still being president and in favor of the pipeline. Oh wait that’s not it. Oh it’s this scary bunch of waddling brownshirts seig-heiling the new Fuhrer. No that’s not it either. Oh yes! It’s the daughter of president-elect Trump and new chief of his businesses Ivanka Trump being given the codes to the nuclear suitcase. I mean wait, merely sitting in a seat, in her father’s office, during an informal meeting with the Prime Minister of Japan. You’re acting like they’re discussing the partitioning of motherfucking Manchuria.
Witness, feminist blogs now warning us to keep our keen don’t-need-no-man eyes on that Trump succubus, that devious calculating female who should stay in her place, where ALL women belong: with Bill Clinton’s cigar rammed up their reproductive organs. And in case you spent the last eight years thinking ridiculing people’s appearance and not the content of their character was, uh, “so totally not ok,” well bitch it’s the Trump years now and we can call his kids inbred retards to our black hearts’ content. Because deep down in this patriarchal, ableist society, liberals have always wanted to live up to our full potential as the beneficiaries of racist imperialism and, like the newly emboldened “alt-right” scum in that “leaked” Atlantic video, we’re feeling freer than ever to show our true colors. Cheeto-ass gimp offspring!!!! Man that feels good, huh.
I know, the real “concern” is the new openly signaled pay-to-play suggestion like in those yucky weird Russiany-Asiany countries (like pick one lol) over which Jezebel is so worked-up, where they do terrible things to people but we “forgot” to mention host tons of US bases whose boss is Commander-in-Chief of the United States Armed Forces President Barack Obama. Well we didn’t forget, we just didn’t know because we’re stupid but also don’t care.
Now of course this sort of thing is disturbing and “not cool” if you consider America, like, not an unstoppable mass-murderous, thieving, endlessly plotting, hypercorrupt juggernaut of an evil empire. But it is and always has been, it’s just that this has somewhat benefited you and your family and — jumping to conclusions here — likely also your race as a whole. But forget all that and for a moment just focus on this recent election cycle alone. Do you know, uh, fucking anything at all about Chelsea Clinton? Are you remotely aware that she’s essentially married to a Jared Kushner doppelgänger? And that their wedding cost three million American dollars and was paid for by the Clinton Foundation, an uh, foundational example in the modern concept of pay-to-play? Just ask the people of Haiti, whom the Clintons haven’t stopped raping since the 90s.
Forget Chelsea. What were Hillary’s credentials for coming up with an entire fucking health-care plan during the Bill Clinton administration? Don’t get me wrong, she is a brilliant person and a skilled political maneuverer… although, not quite skilled enough huh lol. But what gives the president’s wife the ok to make policy prescription when she’s as far from elected as Socks the fuckin cat?
If none of that bothered you then, or even if you didn’t care to pay attention because you blindly trust the officials of the political party with which you personally identify regardless of the outcomes of their actions, then immediately clamp shut your dumb traps you lobotomized pieces of garbage. I hate you and your petty outrage sustains me. My pleasure would be deeper and more satisfying if the Obama-Clinton regime’s body count weren’t so big as to rival the Holocaust you revolting overeducated cretins. Go drown in a pool of useless school debt.